A day does not go by where we are not in conflict with two of the most powerful influencers in our life. Every decision we make is influenced at some level by these two living “Organs”.
I was recently asked a very critical question:
“So which is more important to pay attention too your heart or head?”
We make decisions in life based on our ‘heads’ we make choices in life based on our hearts.
Decisions can be logically explained by anyone whether they are in that situation or not.
Choices made from the heart cannot always be logically explained nor make sense in most cases – they are just there to embrace.
As much as I believe great things come to those who wait. The other side, which I believe in more important but not necessarily lived by as much by most:
Great things are lost for those who do not embrace what is in their hearts at that moment in time – those are choices made from the heart.
Those are choices that have a high element of fear and a high price to pay. In most cases that high price is not monetary but more so a way of life. A person willing to swim against the current of normality and willing to let go the security in order to chase a dream.
You hear a lot of people say, I know deep inside I am meant for more. I am different, there is a deep rooted purpose in my life that I can feel inside of me.
Let me clarify the obvious. Every single person on this earth belongs within the above sentence. The choices that we make at that point in time will determine what we will be saying and living years down the road.
These choices are not easy to make, if they were than everyone would be living their dreams instead of living vicariously through others.
That is why we as humans rely on decisions instead of living our life through heart felt choices.
There will always be a reason why we cannot, always. You only need one reason to grasp on to that dream and never let go.
Start chasing your dreams, your passions in life. Be willing to put it all on stake, be willing to lose it all in life for that one chance of living your legacy.
I would love to hear from people that have payed a price towards their dream. Also ones that are paying a price as we speak.
Remember when you started chasing your dream, you were looking for anything or anyone to encourage you. Your story, even if its one line, will touch the hearts of many reading this post.
Fred Sarkari
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Hi Fred,
As you know, I am a private individual when it comes to talking about me or any of my accomplishments. However, since this is for you I thought I would share my story
My story of sacrifice and a time when I didn’t give up was very recent. Surviving 2008 for me was one of my greatest accomplishments to date.
I battled chronic nerve pain, due to degenerative disc disease in my lower back since 2005. Classified a surgery candidate in July 2007 I was put on the waiting list with a call date for November 2009. I was taking almost every high powered nerve relaxant, muscle relaxant and pain killer known. The doctors prescribed me morphine in late 2007, as the pain worsened and I would not take any other medication during the day. The reason I wouldn’t take it during the day is I needed to be sharp in my role as an Investment Advisor managing approx. $150 million. The morphine was about the only drug that targeted the pain and didn’t give you a fuzzy head, so I could take it during the day. However, I entered 2008 with the most severe pain ever and even taking morphine wouldn’t touch it. I had day and night pain for over a week, before I told my doctor I was going to fly to the John Hopkins hospital and pay for the surgery myself. Luckily, one of the neurologists in Calgary heard my story and within weeks had me in the operating room. I had surgery at the end of March and began a slow recovery process.
Furthering my complications was the fact I was in the last year of an MBA program. I was sporting some of the top grades with a 3.95 GPA and wanted to finish strong. I had pre-registered prior to my surgery for a double course load from March to May and a triple course load from June to August, which of course they don’t recommend. Working through the courses in April and recovering from surgery was immensely trying. I overcame significant stress to get this done and was back at work two weeks after surgery in limited action.
I finished my MBA course load in August and began my thesis, which was due at the end of December. I thought I was on a much easier street than the first part of the year, well, I thought wrong. I ended up working through the toughest financial markets in a century. September through the remained of 2008 was a time period I expensed a great deal of mental capital in my business. There were significant pressures on me and the stress finally caught up. I developed an anxiety disorder where I began to have panic attacks (horrible feeling). Additionally, the amount of time I spent on my health, business and MBA negatively impacted my marriage. Due the lack of time I had available my life on the home front began to deteriorate quickly, as I wasn’t in the position to contribute to my relationship in the way I would have liked to. I thought if I can make it through 2008 I can get my marriage back on track. However, if I waited until year-end then it may have been too late. Thus, in the middle of a financial crisis impacting my career and on the final leg of my MBA thesis; I turned my attention to my marriage in late November. As December came to and end and I entered January I was able to pull through in all areas and put myself in a better state financially, physically/mentally and intellectually.
As I write today, my financial practice is stronger and growing, my health is great with no anxiety attacks in 2009, I am completely medication free and my back continues to heel, I graduated from my MBA with a 3.95 GPA and four scholarships and my marriage is consistently moving in the right direction. I am an individual with lofty ambitions, dreams and goals in every area of my life. Proving to myself I could make it through 2008 was a foundation that triggered a desire for a much more balanced approach, as I look towards more accomplishments in the coming years!
Take care,
CR
Hi Fred,
Your email made me ponder all the battles life throws at us and what makes one more significant than the others. I don’t sweat the small stuff because it makes it difficult to focus on what’s really important.
I grew up in a home filled with love, but also with a dark battle, my father is an alcoholic. Everyday was a mine field, how would he be today, happy, sad, depressed and sadly more often than not, violent. In my mothers time wives stood by their husbands and vows were not broken. How easy it would have been today. She’d say “not worth it”, pack up and begin again.
If she’d done that, and at the time I’d wished everyday she would, I would have missed out on one of the most influential people I know, my Dad. It was not easy for him. A new immigrant to the country he did well at first as an engineer. But mid life he lost his job and had to reinvent himself. What I saw in the year he was out of work was a determined individual who realized that the roof over his family’s head was at risk.
I’m pleased to say that he did reinvent himself, joined AA and Mom got us all into support programs. It’s through this network of support that I became the strong and determined individual I am today. When I was a child I felt very sorry for myself and my situation…today I look back and say thank goodness because I’m not sure I’d be as strong as I am without having lived through it and survived.
One day at a time….words to live by. F
I may have told you this…
Many years ago, I found myself sitting in a bar engrossed in a conversation with a stripper. I cannot remmeber the name of that bar, or her name, but I will always remember her telling me that life is all about “the relationship between gold and gunpowder.”
You cannot have it all; the best you can hope for is to try and find some kind of balance.
Hello Fred, I enjoyed your post. For the most part in my life I have made choices based on my heart, only to then try and reason with myself and others later about those choices using my head. Things become confusing when you make your heart your guide without involving your head. My way of thinking has changed over time and my hope is that I will learn from my past and use my head more and my heart less, or should I say I will try.
Holly my dear, I have really enjoyed all your comments and appreciate your courage to be open with your emotions.
Making choices with your heart is committing to always live against normality. In that case there will always be times where we feel a sense of confusion because most people around us are not following their heart, they are following convenience.
All that being said, we do have to balance our life with our heart and our head. Never close your heart to your true passions in life.
I do hope you do not sacrifice your heart for your head as it seems like you are a person that has a lot to offer this world and yourself.
And that all comes from the heart.
Hi Fred
I absolutly love this post. How often in life do we let a good thing pass us by. All we are left with are memories and thoughts of what our life would have been like if we had chosen the other path.
Thanks so much Fred
Well, I have to say that I have spent a considerable amount of time struggling to come up with something here; something that is relevant and compelling…but alas, I have nothing….! And it’s not because I haven’t had “stuff” happen to me..luckily most of it has been garden variety….job losses, scary recessions, broken relationships..and sadly, a few life altering, and heartbreaking losses of loved ones…but still, at the end of the day I feel like a very lucky person.
I have had the good fortune to have been born in a country that honours women and has allowed me to become the best (and worst!) person I can be. I have loving (but far from perfect, which is part of the fun) parents. I have wonderful friends who turn a blind eye, and deaf ear to my less than desirous qualities, and I have been fortunate enough to find work that is satisfying and lucrative.
Fred, you know all too well that my biggest struggle has been my biggest inspiration. My brother was diagnosed with Hodgkins Disease 23 years ago. He has struggled mightily (and continues to do so)…but every day he finds the strength to go on, despite chronic pain. His favourite refrain is “there is always someone worse off than I am”….so you see, how can I possibly think my life has been a struggle, or that I have had any real adversity….I am a very, very lucky person…..
I want to conclude by plagarizing the last line of the famous poem Desiderata…
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy
Hi Fred,
I loved your post, it does make one think about who they are and the legacy they would like to leave. The truth is I thought I had one dream, but in 2006 all of that changed and what I realized is that the dream I had held on to for so long was not so much a dream rather than something I had come to believe was expected. However, 3 years later there has been growth, change and understanding. Today I am learning to let go and learning to dream. I am not letting fear and expectation play such a huge role in my life and although I am letting my heart guide me, I am from time to time bringing in my head to moderate. Life is good today!
~FS
Hi Fred
I am just in awe of what you have asked. My life has taken me to many corners of my emotions. My life has helped me to experience many situations and what it is like to be alive and I have to be truly grateful for all that I have been able to feel. The joy.The pain. The laughter,The sorrow, the sweet memories of intimacy, the irony of winning and accomplishment.My story is so much and so diverse. All that I will say is for those who are struggling to make choices with their lives.It is wise to even experience the mistakes. With out them there is nothing to learn from.
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