Mentalsidewalk

5 days of training, a weeks rest and I was ready to take on the challenge of my first half-Ironman in Oliver.

There I stood with over a 1000 competitors, nervous, overwhelmed but excited.  Excited to walk into a situation where I know the only way I will finish is to dig deep within and challenge my mind and my heart.

That sounded all fancy and inspirational, in short I have no idea what possessed me to sign up for this race.

Click on my video to listen to my experience and the 4 unexpected lessons I learned about business along the way.

Here I am trying to figure out how to get into my new wetsuit that I will be using for the first time.

4 Lessons I learned during my half-Ironman in Oliver

LESSON 1: Run Your Own Race

Do not worry about others around you.  What ever you do do it for yourself, build your business for yourself not for the sake of building a bigger business than the one next door.

LESSON 2: Be Authentic

How you play the game is a reflection of how you life your life.  That lady I talk about in the above video is a great example of this.  She was genuine in her kindness and that was one of the most refreshing things to experience.

LESSON 3: Create Your Ideal Culture

The culture you create in your office is a direct reflection of the level of success you will experience.  Support and celebrate with your employees and clients.  Not only when they have accomplished something but more so along the way.

LESSON 4: Cherish The Moment

It is important to chase your goals, but never at the expense of losing sight of your achievements and experiencing the moment.

We are capable of so much more than we give our self credit for.  What ever your journey is never forget to smile through it all as it is a gift.

I look forward to hearing your experiences as well.

Fred Sarkari

Have you ever just sat there on a calm peaceful day and out of nowhere comes a gust of wind that scatters all that is around you?

That is what my 2010 has felt like, a tornado that came around the corner to ignite my senses and remind me that I am alive.  This year will be full of adventures to learn and grow from.   Let me rephrase that, this year HAS been full of adventures already.

Here I sit on my deck looking out at the water.  Staring at the water has just reminded me not to get caught up with one of the most critical errors we humans seem to fall for.

While we chase this thing called life, we lose sight of the beauty that is right in front of us.  The little things that make us take a genuine deep breath and make our hearts smile from the inside out.

I feel alive more so for the insight, that I am fortunate to posses the purest of gifts in life. The people that cross my path, family, my precious niece and nephew, true genuine friends that I can rely on, clients that go out of their way to help me grow my business and support and trust my overall vision in life, the new people in my life, in the Okanagan, that I have been fortunate to grow to love.

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I am rich with simple treasures in my life.

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What I have come to realize is that we all have our own simple treasures.  It is up to us if we have the courage to look beyond the clutter of life and honor this gift that revolves around us, the gift of simple treasures.

I ask you this – Do share – what are your simple treasures?

Fred Sarkari

This year my Christmas Eve was filled with more adventure than I ever expected.  Infact, this is my 4th year spending Christmas Eve on the streets and it has always been the greatest life lessons but never have I faced such adventures.

My last great awareness experience taught me the valuable lesson of respect in our lives.

Once again, this Christmas Eve I dressed up like I was a homeless person and spent this beautiful night of giving and sharing on the streets with strangers.

It all started with my long johns, a full belly and a warm coffee.  I was already blessed with so much more than everyone else I was going to spend this magical evening with.

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I was making my way down the Vancouver streets through the nicer part of downtown and already I could feel peoples eyes all over me due to the way I was dressed, like I did not belong on their side of the tracks.

Most of these people gave such slight quick looks that the only reason it impacted me was because it was directed towards me.  We need to ask ourselves, do we at times judge with our looks and actions without realizing we do them?  Most of the times I do not believe these people even knew they were giving me such judgmental looks.

The greatest impact we leave behind with others in our lives are the little things that we do.  These leave behind emotions that last a life time.

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When I got to the location where all the homeless lived, it was one of the most overwhelming experiences than any other city I have done this.  It felt like I was in an entirely different world.

There were people selling drugs, people using needles, others just lost in their own world of loneliness, some scary enough that I would not want to walk by their path and some just talking aloud to no one in particular as they wandered aimlessly.

There I was surrounded by people filled with their own individual stories with one commonality – bringing them all to this one location on this special night.

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And so the adventure started.  It was one of those moments that you can see unfolding before it begins.   I knew he was heading straight to my direction with  an unknown intent to me.  He walked right over to me and the first words that came out of his mouth was, “Who the F^*((^ are you and what the F*(&^%&%^& are you doing here?”  Well long story short I was standing at his drug selling territory.  After chatting for a while even he had a Christmas Spirit of forgiveness.

Once again I had the opportunity to listen to some phenomenal life stories from people in this world that we so often walk right by and only notice with judgment.

Life lessons revolve around us on a daily basis,

are we open to receiving them?

In the last 4 years of doing this I have never met an individual like Mr. Maca.

Mr. Maca has been living on the streets for 6 years now.  He has a family he has not seen or heard from for 9 years.  He is a man of high education, a Doctorate in philosophy.

He had such a calm relaxing demeanor about him and he just seemed so at peace with himself.  All logic makes me question his self-peace but it was not for me to judge but to just accept.

We ended up sitting on the sidewalk against a building for a little over an hour.  My only regret was I wish I could have pulled out a pen and paper to write down all the insight this man has.

He made me aware of the most critical lesson I learned that night.  We are always looking for the right answers or at times just answers to give us guidance, answers to fix and heal different aspects of our lives.

Mr. Maca, reminded me the main reason why we never seem to find the answers we are looking for is because we never ask ourselves the right questions.

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If we do not understand how to ask ourselves the right questions

than we will ever find the right answers.

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Take the time to become aware of the kind of questions we ask ourselves, our   children, partners and spouses, friends and strangers that cross our path.

When we start focusing more on the questions themselves it is amazing how the answers will reveal themselves.

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During your interactions and communication always ask yourself the following questions:

1. Am I asking the right questions to myself?

2. Am I asking the right questions to others?

3. Am I aware of the little things that I do that affects people?

4. What emotions do I leave behind with my daily small actions and behaviors?

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2010 will be a phenomenal year.  Lets together make it a year of personal growth, a year full of love and compassion, a year of kindness, a year of intent, a year of calmness in our minds and souls.

A year where we as individuals make a difference.

Make this your year.

Wishing you all the best for 2010.

Fred Sarkari

Everywhere I turn I hear Christmas music.  At first it seemed like a shock to my system and before I knew it I not only expected it but looked forward to it as it got me into the Christmas Spirit.

This is the time of the year where we feel it has snuck up on us, but more importantly in no time it will feel like the season came and went with the blink of an eye.

Make sure you take the time to connect to the loved ones in your life.  Do not only tell them but show them your love, how much you appreciate them and what they truly mean to you in your life.

At the same time, give some of your moments to the stranger that pass by you.  It truly only takes seconds to touch one’s life; with passing smile, a hello, a compliment or just holding the door open.

We as individuals can change this world with small precious moments that we share with others.

2010 will be full of opportunities.  Lets make sure we do not loose sight of the precious moments around us.  The small acts of kindness we can spread into this world that will ripple throughout time.

We all have our own personal journey and story.  At times there are those angels that walk our path not judging our actions and circumstances but more so to just hold our hand through the hard times we face.

I ask you this, who’s angel are you going to be this Christmas season?

Lets together make 2010 the beginning of a New World.

Fred Sarkari

Thank you to all those that helped us raise $945.00 for the Women Shelter here in Kelowna.

Thank you to Valley First and Cabana Grille for supporting me on this venture.

WAIT! It’s not over yet!  We still have the campaign going for a little bit longer.

Go into any Valley First Credit Union in the Okanagan and donate any amount to receive the Best Selling Book: How The Top 5% Think! Principles Of Great Leaders and receive a free appetizer from Cabana Grille.  ALL FUNDS raised goes directly to support the Women Shelter.
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It is critical that we support our community and those in need.  If everyone took the time for a small act of kindness, imagine the community that we can build in the Okanagan from within.  Spread the word to everyone to go to a Valley First Credit Union and receive your book and appetizer in order to help raise funds for the Women Shelter.

Thank you for all your support.

A special thanks to Joceylnn Wells from Valley First for helping put all this together and their internal campaign that raised another $1059 for the Women Shelter.

What a perfect moment I experienced today.

We were sitting on our surfboards waiting for the next magical wave as the sun was blaring on our sore muscles.  Just as I thought to myself of jumping into the water to cool my body off, we started to experience sun showers.  And than there it was the most amazing double rainbow I have ever seen.  They were so bright that I felt like swimming over and surfing the rainbow themselves.

I wished to myself I had a camera to capture this moment.  Now hours later it occurred to me that this was one of those moments that was carved into my memory – an image that was more vibrant than any picture.

What was it about this moment that it was photographed with fine details into my memory?  Than it occurred to me that it made me feel.  It was an experience that elicited emotions within me.

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Experience linked to emotions will stay with us for all time.

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What a powerful lesson to take with me.  When we communicate with people, do we connect to their emotions in order to leave behind a lasting experience.

Always ask yourself after every interaction, what emotions did I leave behind?

I feel so blessed on this trip.  Beautiful weather, warm ocean, great people, great fun and some great sessions with courageous people that are so open to looking within themselves.

Look around you as there is beauty in every moment.

Fred Sarkari

How my 10 km run turned into a 42 km marathon.  All I can say is OUCH!

The BMO marathon was last Sunday.  Taking a break from running for a while due to a calf injury, I intended to do the 10 km run last Sunday. The longest distance I have ever ran is 14 km and that is when I was running consistently.  so I figured if I dug deep enough the 10 km should not be too difficult.

8 km into the race I decided that I might be able to pull off the 1/2 marathon if I dug even deeper within.

Next thing I knew I was facing the fork in the road, by this point in time I was already feeling the swelling in my knees and back.  Go right for the 1/2 marathon and go left for the full 42 km marathon.  I have no idea what came over me but at an instant I hid my color coded race bib under my shirt and made a left towards the entire marathon.

As soon as I made the left it seemed like majority of the runners disappeared and the reality of my decision sunk deep into my heart.  Now I was committed and there was no turning back.

I knew I was in for some agony for the next few hours, just did not realize how painful these few hours were going to be.

I made 2 commitments to myself at that moment in time -

I will not give up and I will have fun till the end.

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Imagine the power of those 2 commitments in anything that you do in life.

The things you are capable of achieving.

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I was having the time of my life, singing, a little bit of dancing, telling myself some of my favorite jokes and never losing that smile off my face.  To my surprise I was doing better than ever expected, well until I hit that 19 km mark.

Than I felt a sharp nerve pain fire off from my hip to the back of my right knee. If you have ever had a nerve fire as such, you know that you instantly start singing a different kind of a song.  Once I realized that this nerve pain on every step was not going anywhere, my only option was to have fun with it.  So I started talking to it, laughing at it and the next thing I knew I ran 2 more km with (her) as a pain in my side. he he

It seemed like it was at the exact time when I saw the 22 km sign, my right knee started to swell like a balloon.  I still had 1/2 a marathon to run.

My 1o min. run and 1 minute walk intervals turned to a 5 min. run and a 1 minute walk.

It took me a few more km to figure out a perfect movement with my hip in order to be able to run without bending my right knee too much.  One of my happiest moments – I was back on the move again.

You see at this point as far as I was concerned I had already finished the marathon, only thing left was to run over to the finish line and get my metal.

There is a big difference to the psyche from thinking what you want to accomplish and verbally speaking what you have already accomplished, in the near future.

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Than came km 27 – my left knee decided to play a joke on me and started to swell up.  My first reaction was frustration at this point as I still had 15 km to go.  As soon as I got frustrated I started to realize how badly my body was really hurting, everything that could possibly hurt started to hurt at that point in time. And on top of that everything that should not be hurting also was hurting.

That was the best thing that could have happened to me

as it gave the the awareness how important my state of mind was at that moment in time.

Instantly I started singing again, moving my upper body like I was dancing to the music, put on the biggest smile on my face and visualized every molecule in my body crossing the finish line.  And magically the pain started to disappear, well at least lessen.

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Well until I hit km 32.  I can’t bend my right knee, I have a nerve firing off from my hip to my right knee on ever step and now my left knee was getting harder to bend.  My feet were swollen and every step made my feet feel like they were being tenderized by a mallet.  That is okay, bring it on I told my self as there is only 10 km left.

Then came the practical joke of the day.  8 km left and I cannot bend either of my knees, and every step was excruciating pain at the top and bottom of my feet as they both were swollen and tender.

The last 8 km truly tested how committed I was to the 2 things I promised myself.  I will never give up and I will have fun.

It took me almost 2 km to figure out that the awkward hip movement run I was trying to do without bending my knees was slower than if I just tried to walk.

So the rest of the way instead of saying ouch with every step, I smiled, I laughed, I stared at the true colors around me, I passionately listened to the birds that were cheering me on with their singing and I took one step at a time.

The last 6 km did take for ever to finish, but crossing that finish line in the end knowing that I can always count on my promise to myself made it all worth while.  To me the greatest satisfaction was not the stupidity of running a marathon without training for it.  The satisfaction is to know I can believe in my commitments to myself.  How can we expect people to reply on our word to them if we cannot even rely on ourself.

I would never recommend the above, as I would be the first to say it was a stupid idea.  That being said, never forget what you are capable of achieving, have the courage to stretch and to fight for what you want.  We are capable of so much more than we give ourselves credit for.

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5 Things I Took Away From This Journey

1. Have the courage to jump in and than commit to your actions.

2. The sign of a persons true character is one that will keep their promises to themselves.  When I want to know if I can trust someone, I want to know if they keep their own promises to themself.

3. No matter what your journey, slow down enough to cherish the colors around you, to listen to the sounds, to smile, to laugh and to dance with every step.

4. Never give up.

5. You can have fun in any situation – Never forget that!

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I say to you, never give up and take every step towards your dreams, cherishing the fun in every moment of that journey.

Few days have passed and now I can ‘kind of’ where my shoes and ‘kind of’ walk again.

Happy Running

This man has more courage in his heart in these 3 minutes than most of us do in a lifetime.

There are times when we hit the ground so hard that we wonder if we will ever have the courage to get back up again.  After watching this 3 minute video, I cannot wait to fall once again just so I can get back up and live.

Look around you, truly look with all your heart and soul, and know that no matter what our situation or circumstance in life is – we are truly blessed.

Hold on to your precious moments, tell your spouse how much you truly appreciate them, hold your children tight and whisper in their ears your love for them, touch the hearts and souls of all those that cross your path and most importantly look in the mirror and know you are special and you have within you greatness that is just waiting to be reveled into this world.

We are capable of so much more.

I was taking a break having a coffee and reading a book at Good Earth in beautiful Kelowna.

That is where I saw a sight that put a tear in my eye.

A mother telling her child about the importance of always taking the time to look pretty before you walk out of the house.

Imagine the difference in the child

if she was taught the importance of always

trusting and believing in herself

before leaving the house.

We all face those times where we doubt ourselves, our image onto others or just who we are trying to be and grow into.

Everywhere you turn you see images and opinions of what society concludes as beautiful and worthy.

Have you ever really looked at yourself in the mirror?

Looked at who you really are as a person and an individual?  Do not just take a glance, what you are wearing, your hair style, the color of your skin or your fake tan.  Truly look at YOU.  Look at the reflection in the mirror long enough till you see within yourself and than ask yourself who you see.

I know most will role their eyes at this task, but I tell you this.  The ones that come up with any reason why they are not going to do it all comes down to the one main and real reason why not?

We are scared to know who we truly are

There is no hype clothing, hair style, look, color, what you drive, where you live or your chosen profession that can put value to your soul.

Stare at yourself in the mirror and just know that you are beautiful just the way you were created.  There is no end to your beauty in your eyes and those that cross your path when you start believing in yourself.

Live YOUR life to the fullest.

Live YOUR life for YOU and not others.

Fred sarkari

I had the opportunity to travel around the world in 3 days, living and feeling the  7 Wonders of The World.

What did YOU do this weekend? he he

An hour ago I just finished having a conversation with a friend of mine about the 7 Wonders of the World.  She was trying to remember what they were as one of her dreams is to visit them all in her life time.

How did I manage to see the 7 Wonders in just 3 days?

When she was going through the list I could not help but to notice that my mind kept journeying to a different list.

We have these great dreams of seeing parts of the world, experiencing events, achieving goals, creating financial success…

In doing so, how easily we lose sight of the true 7 Wonders of the World.

I remember a child, when asked the same question answered by stating that the 7 Wonders of the world are:

1. To See

Do we take the time to see the beauty around us?  Or are we so focused on reaching the next moment in life?  This Long-Weekend I took in the beauty of the lake and the mountains while relaxing on the boat.   When you stare at the lake long enough  you can see every drop of water.

2. To Hear

Going for a run, I remember just opening my mind to what ever wanted to come in.  In time all the noise of the world had deafened and all I could hear are the beautiful sounds of the birds.

3. To Touch

Our skin is the largest organ in the body.  I was fortunate enough to spend time with close friends.  A genuine hug from your friends can last a life time within you.

4. To Taste

Well those that know me, know I saver every bite of food, dance during every chew.  I do not eat for the sake to eating I eat cause I love to taste and experience the food.  Nothing better than a barbeque with close friends.

5. To Feel

We feel something every second of the day.  Unfortunately most people are not aware of those moments.  They only stop to feel when it is an intense emotion.  Being aware of all the moments during the weekend reminded me of all the great emotions that we go through on a daily basis.

6. To Laugh

The best way to stay young is to laugh, laugh more and than laugh even more.

7. To Love

If more people had the courage to love and be loved this world would be a different place.

I want to thank all those that helped me experience the 7 Wonders of The World this long-weekend.  Most people spend a life time traveling the world in order to experience them, meanwhile they are right in our own backyards.

Cherish the moments

Fred Sarkari

JAMES LARTER

March 4th 1976 – July 6 2009

The times I had the pleasure of meeting James it was evident that he was a gift to all those that were in his life.

RIP James, your spirit will live within all of us.

Statement by John Larter, father of James Larter

“My family and I stand in the centre of that dark nightmare that all of us with children have hidden in the back of our minds. It is even more painful than I feared. Our beautiful son was our very heartbeat and breath. We stood around his bed in the hospital where he was laying covered in knife wounds and slashes, too many stitches to number. There were tubes attached to him everywhere bringing him blood and helping him to breathe and cling to life. His 12-year-old daughter was kneeling on a chair beside him with her head resting on his broad shoulder. Her tears had soaked his hospital gown and made a perfect circle where she lay. In that safe and familiar place on her dad’s shoulder she somehow fell asleep. It was then we turned off the respirator, watched our son’s face turn pale as he slipped away from us while his little girl slept. As I stood there, I thought, if the young man who did this to my son and her daddy could stand alongside me and watch all this unfold, he would be so ashamed that the knife would fall from his hand and he would never use one again. And I would gladly forgive him.”

A day does not go by where we are not in conflict with two of the most powerful influencers in our life.  Every decision we make is influenced at some level by these two living “Organs”.

I was recently asked a very critical question:

“So which is more important to pay attention too your heart or head?”

We make decisions in life based on our ‘heads’ we make choices in life based on our hearts.

Decisions can be logically explained by anyone whether they are in that situation or not.

Choices made from the heart cannot always be logically explained nor make sense in most cases – they are just there to embrace.

As much as I believe great things come to those who wait. The other side, which I believe in more important but not necessarily lived by as much by most:

Great things are lost for those who do not embrace what is in their hearts at that moment in time – those are choices made from the heart.

Those are choices that have a high element of fear and a high price to pay.  In most cases that high price is not monetary but more so a way of life.  A person willing to swim against the current of normality and willing to let go the security in order to chase a dream.

You hear a lot of people say, I know deep inside I am meant for more.  I am different, there is a deep rooted purpose in my life that I can feel inside of me.

Let me clarify the obvious.  Every single person on this earth belongs within the above sentence.  The choices that we make at that point in time will determine what we will be saying and living years down the road.

These choices are not easy to make, if they were than everyone would be living their dreams instead of living vicariously through others.

That is why we as humans rely on decisions instead of living our life through heart felt choices.

There will always be a reason why we cannot, always.  You only need one reason to grasp on to that dream and never let go.

Start chasing your dreams, your passions in life.  Be willing to put it all on stake, be willing to lose it all in life for that one chance of living your legacy.

I would love to hear from people that have payed a price towards their dream.   Also ones that are paying a price as we speak.

Remember when you started chasing your dream, you were looking for anything or anyone to encourage you.  Your story, even if its one line, will touch the hearts of many reading this post.

Fred Sarkari

Women are truly Gods creation of strength.   I had the pleasure of being introduced to a Woman of strength that reminded me of the importance of embracing our life’s journey.  

Freyaz Shroff reminds me of one of the most popular posts, Strong Women vs. Women of Strength, living the image of a woman with strength.  Below she shares her phenomenal journey which I would like to share with everyone.

Traveling Life’s Road!

I have always been a woman of faith, an intelligent woman, one who is kind, compassionate, respectful and above all filled with love for everyone.  However, January 3, 2006 began a journey in my life that would start to define exactly what it meant to be loving, responsible and above all faith-full.

Relationships I had counted on, betrayed me.  A career I had moved towards eluded me.  It didn’t matter in which direction I turned…my life as I knew it seemed to be crumbling.  I remember sitting with my prayer book open, just crying right into it.  Every part of me, the physical, mental, and emotional…had just dissolved. 

In December 2006, life led me to Mumbai, India for 10 days and those 10 days have now turned into 2 years.  Living in India brought its own set of challenges, but destiny had its own plans and I was provided all I needed to embrace each one of them, ultimately leading to work I could call my own.

This work pushed me beyond all boundaries of my comfort zone.  A beautiful 2 story home in America had been replaced with a comfortable 3 bedroom apartment, but in a building, where poor people can be found sleeping in the entrance corridor, smells of an overflowing public restroom can accompany you all four floors up in the elevator and the age of the building starting to show in the very evident cracks and slanting balconies. 

Hot water on demand had been replaced with remembering to turn on the geyser to warm the water at least 15 -20 minutes before hopping in the shower.  Everything from the way I dressed and spoke to the way I thought and worked saw changes.  However none more noticeable than the way I started to move around the city.  You see my luxury car had been replaced by walking, taxis and as my work took me further out…trains!

It is in the trains though that I learned the true definition of the words determination, grit and passion!  Please keep in mind that there are pluses and minuses to everything in life and I am choosing here to showcase the positive spirit of the average female Mumbai local train traveler.

Everyday 8 million people travel in the local trains of Mumbai.  Each train compartment is configured for 200, but inevitably during peak times we end up with 500 passengers. 

I am fortunate enough to be able to travel in the “ladies only” compartment; there are usually 2 per train.  Every morning I see women who get on the train with disheveled hair, an old chunni (shawl), and a couple of bags and in the forty minutes we travel together I see them completely transform themselves. 

The chunni is replaced with a clean one that matches their outfit, make-up, hair and the perfect bindi complete the transformation.  All this done amidst the hawkers on the train, the other passengers trying to get on and off at each station and some who have mastered the art can do this while they are standing. 

College going girls studying the last little bit before appearing for their exam, older women can be seen praying, some stand by the door to enjoy the breeze (that is the only time they have for their meditation), conversation flows easily amongst those who know one another.  Hawkers in the morning sell book bags, pencil boxes and make up items, to meet the shopping needs of the hour. 

Evenings on the train, see a different atmosphere.  Still the crowds, but this time the empty bags from the morning are filled with vegetables they have bought outside the train station, students are now doing the homework for the next day and hawkers are selling food stuffs, earrings and toys.  Since there are no doors on the compartments, women gather at the back of the compartment entrance to peel and cut their vegetables.  Each helps the other so that the work is done by the time they reach their destination.

The name of the game is to get it all done, the shopping, the cooking, the cleaning, the children’s’ homework, mealtime, bedtime and anything else that needs their attention.  And if you didn’t know any better each woman on that train would have you convinced that everything was abundant in their lives, because there is never a shortage of smiles to go around. 

If you really take the time to observe and get to know these amazing women, you will find, as I did, yourself in them and you will learn that you too have within you the amazing spirit so many of them carry within their souls.  You see, when all is said and done, you have to do, what you have to do and there is no way around it, so might as well step into the game called life and embrace each day. 

I wish each of them continued abundance and I wish for you travels which take you far enough so that you are able to reach deep within the distances allowing you to put life into a different perspective!

By Freyaz Shroff

Fred Sarkari