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However, as I was listening to him, I realized that the conversations he was having seemed rich. These people were interested in talking to my brother-in-law, even though none of them had ever met him before. The reason why was pretty simple: my brother-in-law wasn’t just talking to people, he was talking about them. He took the time to ask them questions, to listen to their answers, to really understand who they were.
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The greatest human need is to be understood.

We all crave connection, and thrive when others reach out to us. Therefore, these small conversations he was having weren’t just small talk. They were actually making these people feel good. He made their day.

I can only imagine how that good feeling could translate to others. Their good mood can impact other people, and the positive energy can be carried far beyond the simple conversations my brother-in-law was having.

Just imagine what this world would be like if we all focused on how to connect with people. Changing someone’s day only takes a few minutes. Making a difference is as easy as a few kind words and listening ear. It’s a lesson we should all take to heart. I know I have.

We woke up in Banff at 6:00 AM ready to start the trip.

During breakfast, we mapped out   our trip together, named the flags that hung from the ceiling, and just caught up with life. Afterward, we stopped at the hot springs. While we played in the water, Zal and Natasha told me about their summer and asked me about mine. It was remarkable how we hadn’t done anything substantial yet, but we were already having the time of our lives. We focus so much on goals and results sometimes that we miss out on the most valuable things of all–the small, precious moments we share with our loved ones.

Our first real stop was Lake Louise. The plan was canoeing, but when we got there, Zal was nervous. He knew the water would be cold, since it was a glacial lake. It took some cajoling, but when he saw everyone else having fun, his focus turned from fear to total excitement.

As it turned out, we all had a great time–especially Zal. In the end, he told me he was so grateful that he hadn’t allowed his fears to take away this experience we shared together. His comment stopped my thoughts cold, reminding me to never walk away from life experiences due to my fears.

We went to Moraine Lake next. The water there is so blue–you have to see it to believe it!

The kids were blown away, but when I tried to show them the rocks we could climb for a better view, they went silent with uncertainty.

I told them I would take them one step at a time and that it was okay to be scared. They grabbed my hands and were ready to face the adventure again.

The view from the top put the bottom to shame. It is so important to go the extra mile. It is amazing how much we miss out on by not taking that extra step. No matter where you want to end up, you can only take the journey one step at a time.

By the time we finished, we were so tired. We thought about turning in, but decided to make one more stop at the Ghost Town. At first, I was worried the kids would be bored, and actually suggested we drive right by. Natasha screamed, “If we don’t try, how will we know what we missed out on?” Well, needless to say, my only answer was the sound of brakes screeching. I truly recommend taking the time to go see the Ghost Town. Seeing this history come to life was a reminder that so much of who we are and what we’ve accomplished is connected to the past.

It was 10:30 at night when we finally rolled into my driveway in Kelowna, exhausted but happy. Looking back on the day, it’s so clear to me that children can teach us all we need to know in life. You just need to take the time to connect with your children, and you’d be surprised what you can learn. Spending this day with Natasha and Zal has taught me the following lessons. I can hardly wait for what tomorrow will bring.

Lessons from Natasha and Zal

1. While chasing your long term goals, do not lose sight of the day to day interactions with your loved ones. That is where life is truly lived.

2. Never let fear take away all that life has to offer.

3. No matter how big and scary the destination may seem, just focus on the next step. By taking it one step at a time, you’ll be enjoying the destination in no time.

4. All the answers you are looking for can be found in the past. That is why archeologists search the past–to find the answers to the future.

My recent trip to the physiotherapist was no different. I had made an appointment with Greg Smith from Kelowna Physiotherapist Associates As he was working on me, I asked Greg a question regarding an issue with my other leg.

He frowned thoughtfully, giving my leg a quick look. “Well, Fred,” he said with a slow nod. “I actually don’t know.”

For a moment, all I could do was stare. He didn’t know? How could my physiotherapist not know? I trusted him to know, I paid him to know.

He nodded again, collecting a breath before offering me a smile. “I’ll have to give it some thought while we take a closer look at your leg.”

It wasn’t the quick diagnosis I had been looking for, but as Greg conducted the rest of his examination, I realized it was the most reassuring answer he could give me. Sure, I didn’t know right away what was wrong with my leg, but I did know that I could trust my physiotherapist to be honest.

After all, Greg could have lied and could have made up anything. He could have planned five unnecessary tests to get more money out of me.

Instead, my physiotherapist kept his integrity and told me the truth. This honesty showed that he had my best interest at heart and that the answers he gave me were legitimate. When he did find the answer, I had no doubt that I could trust that as much as I could trust his initial uncertainty.

This lesson holds true in all businesses. No matter what you do, it is essential to be honest. Being a leader in the industry doesn’t mean you have all the answers. We’re all human, and as much as clients want to know everything at that moment in time, they also want us to be honest with our answers.

It’s a question we’re all likely to face in our business: what to do when you are unsure of the answer. Fortunately, we don’t have to know the answer. We just have to be honest, and that integrity will offer more to clients than false promises ever could.

Our clients do not expect us to know everything, but they do expect us to have integrity and be willing to take the time to source out the answers to their questions.

Fred Sakrari

There I stood with over a 1000 competitors, nervous, overwhelmed but excited.  Excited to walk into a situation where I know the only way I will finish is to dig deep within and challenge my mind and my heart.

That sounded all fancy and inspirational, in short I have no idea what possessed me to sign up for this race.

Click on my video to listen to my experience and the 4 unexpected lessons I learned about business along the way.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=dAaiCohMIuE

Here I am trying to figure out how to get into my new wetsuit that I will be using for the first time.

4 Lessons I learned during my half-Ironman in Oliver

LESSON 1: Run Your Own Race

Do not worry about others around you.  What ever you do do it for yourself, build your business for yourself not for the sake of building a bigger business than the one next door.

LESSON 2: Be Authentic

How you play the game is a reflection of how you life your life.  That lady I talk about in the above video is a great example of this.  She was genuine in her kindness and that was one of the most refreshing things to experience.

LESSON 3: Create Your Ideal Culture

The culture you create in your office is a direct reflection of the level of success you will experience.  Support and celebrate with your employees and clients.  Not only when they have accomplished something but more so along the way.

LESSON 4: Cherish The Moment

It is important to chase your goals, but never at the expense of losing sight of your achievements and experiencing the moment.

We are capable of so much more than we give our self credit for.  What ever your journey is never forget to smile through it all as it is a gift.

I look forward to hearing your experiences as well.

Fred Sarkari

That is what my 2010 has felt like, a tornado that came around the corner to ignite my senses and remind me that I am alive.  This year will be full of adventures to learn and grow from.   Let me rephrase that, this year HAS been full of adventures already.

Here I sit on my deck looking out at the water.  Staring at the water has just reminded me not to get caught up with one of the most critical errors we humans seem to fall for.

While we chase this thing called life, we lose sight of the beauty that is right in front of us.  The little things that make us take a genuine deep breath and make our hearts smile from the inside out.

I feel alive more so for the insight, that I am fortunate to posses the purest of gifts in life. The people that cross my path, family, my precious niece and nephew, true genuine friends that I can rely on, clients that go out of their way to help me grow my business and support and trust my overall vision in life, the new people in my life, in the Okanagan, that I have been fortunate to grow to love.

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I am rich with simple treasures in my life.

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What I have come to realize is that we all have our own simple treasures.  It is up to us if we have the courage to look beyond the clutter of life and honor this gift that revolves around us, the gift of simple treasures.

I ask you this – Do share – what are your simple treasures?

Fred Sarkari

Valentines should be what you and your loved ones like it to be.  That is all that matters.  If it is important to her than it should be important to you.

Valentine’s Day is about celebrating our love by connecting to the ones that are special to us.   It is not meant for us to treat our loved ones with more respect and understanding than any other day.  It is a reminder of how we should be treating our loved ones on a daily basis.

We all want to love and be loved.  We may fear it, ignore it and fight the thought of it – but that still does not change our intrinsic need to love and be loved.

There is no greater achievement and a sign of a persons strength of character when they risk loving and letting others love them.

I was asked this morning: If love is so critical to us, how do some survive without love in their life?

One can survive without love.  Life is not about surviving, anyone can survive – Life is about living and in order to truly live there needs to be love, authentic love.

When you sing, sing with love – when you hug someone, hug them with love – when you smile, smile with love – do acts of kindness with genuine love – live with love revolved around you.

Let valentines day be a reminder for all of us to truly connect with our loved ones and those that cross our path in life.

Being the Olympics right now, take the opportunity to give out some golden hearts and do what you need to do to win the hearts of your loved ones.

Fred Sarkari

Instead of starting my runs and swimming during my spare time, I was perfecting my coffee drinking at different Cafe’s.

Today I was at the Panera Bread, a place I highly recommend for a soup and lunch.

There they were, a gentleman and an elderly lady sitting on a table with their coffee and a laptop.  The gentleman was showing the lady, grandma, some basic tricks on the laptop.

At one point in time he said to her “we should have brought your new laptop so you could have practiced on yours instead of mine.  Lets come back again tomorrow with it.”

His grandmother replied, “you are too busy for that my dear.” That is when the  grandson replied with the most precious words.

“There is always enough time for you grandma.”

We not only live in this fast paced decade but we have also got caught up with the momentum of always going from one meeting to another, one email to another, one event to another… And in doing so, we have lost sight of our priorities and making time for them.

The grandson had his priority right – there is always time for those we love.  The question is are we willing to make time for them?

We are facing a new year ahead of us.  Take the time to ask yourself 2 questions:

1. Who are the important people in your life?
2. Are you making enough time for them?

Lets be more conscious and commit to our loved ones.

Who will you make extra time for

and what are the little things you will do?

All the best for 2010

My last great awareness experience taught me the valuable lesson of respect in our lives.

Once again, this Christmas Eve I dressed up like I was a homeless person and spent this beautiful night of giving and sharing on the streets with strangers.

It all started with my long johns, a full belly and a warm coffee.  I was already blessed with so much more than everyone else I was going to spend this magical evening with.

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I was making my way down the Vancouver streets through the nicer part of downtown and already I could feel peoples eyes all over me due to the way I was dressed, like I did not belong on their side of the tracks.

Most of these people gave such slight quick looks that the only reason it impacted me was because it was directed towards me.  We need to ask ourselves, do we at times judge with our looks and actions without realizing we do them?  Most of the times I do not believe these people even knew they were giving me such judgmental looks.

The greatest impact we leave behind with others in our lives are the little things that we do.  These leave behind emotions that last a life time.

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When I got to the location where all the homeless lived, it was one of the most overwhelming experiences than any other city I have done this.  It felt like I was in an entirely different world.

There were people selling drugs, people using needles, others just lost in their own world of loneliness, some scary enough that I would not want to walk by their path and some just talking aloud to no one in particular as they wandered aimlessly.

There I was surrounded by people filled with their own individual stories with one commonality – bringing them all to this one location on this special night.

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And so the adventure started.  It was one of those moments that you can see unfolding before it begins.   I knew he was heading straight to my direction with  an unknown intent to me.  He walked right over to me and the first words that came out of his mouth was, “Who the F^*((^ are you and what the F*(&^%&%^& are you doing here?”  Well long story short I was standing at his drug selling territory.  After chatting for a while even he had a Christmas Spirit of forgiveness.

Once again I had the opportunity to listen to some phenomenal life stories from people in this world that we so often walk right by and only notice with judgment.

Life lessons revolve around us on a daily basis,

are we open to receiving them?

In the last 4 years of doing this I have never met an individual like Mr. Maca.

Mr. Maca has been living on the streets for 6 years now.  He has a family he has not seen or heard from for 9 years.  He is a man of high education, a Doctorate in philosophy.

He had such a calm relaxing demeanor about him and he just seemed so at peace with himself.  All logic makes me question his self-peace but it was not for me to judge but to just accept.

We ended up sitting on the sidewalk against a building for a little over an hour.  My only regret was I wish I could have pulled out a pen and paper to write down all the insight this man has.

He made me aware of the most critical lesson I learned that night.  We are always looking for the right answers or at times just answers to give us guidance, answers to fix and heal different aspects of our lives.

Mr. Maca, reminded me the main reason why we never seem to find the answers we are looking for is because we never ask ourselves the right questions.

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If we do not understand how to ask ourselves the right questions

than we will ever find the right answers.

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Take the time to become aware of the kind of questions we ask ourselves, our   children, partners and spouses, friends and strangers that cross our path.

When we start focusing more on the questions themselves it is amazing how the answers will reveal themselves.

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During your interactions and communication always ask yourself the following questions:

1. Am I asking the right questions to myself?

2. Am I asking the right questions to others?

3. Am I aware of the little things that I do that affects people?

4. What emotions do I leave behind with my daily small actions and behaviors?

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2010 will be a phenomenal year.  Lets together make it a year of personal growth, a year full of love and compassion, a year of kindness, a year of intent, a year of calmness in our minds and souls.

A year where we as individuals make a difference.

Make this your year.

Wishing you all the best for 2010.

Fred Sarkari

Everything revolves around our core personalities; how we think and what we do.  And it doesn’t have to be conscious, because we have gotten so proficient at adapting our behaviors in situations that we forget who we really are and what really makes us tick.

By now you should have realized that there is no magic formula for successful leadership. There is no book, seminar or course that can inject the right ingredients into you and your situation to make you a successful leader. Consider those that you believe were successful leaders.  Did they all have the same personality traits?

For example, in managing information, a leader can be the center or hub of an organization’s communication wheel or he/she may prefer to sit at the end of a hierarchy that reviews information and simply presents them as options to the leader.  These are contrasting styles, but both can be effective in the right situations.

By its very definition, leadership involves providing guidance and direction to followers. Understanding how personalities influence actions, responses, purchasing decisions, etc. can help a leader provide guidance and direction.

Consider the impact of personalities on a sales meeting: We all know that purchasing decisions are not made solely on the merits of the product.  As successful sales professionals, we are constantly aware that it is our ability to communicate and build rapport with a potential buyer that greatly enhances our ability to close a sale.

There are several psychological definitions and categories of personality traits. Consider the following as a guide to help us start on our path to awareness.

QUESTIONER:
They are always looking for detailed facts and will ask many questions. Keep focused and be systematic with your conversation by avoiding jumping from one topic to the next. Be objective and back up everything with proof.

RUNNER:
Their minds are on multiple tasks and have the attention span that will last a few seconds.  They speak fast and move fast.  They are always looking for the conclusion and results. Therefore get directly to the point and than you can expand into the details. They always talk about results.

HELPER:
They are always looking after everyone’s needs and concerns.  They are more concerned about who you are as a person.  Once they understand you than they will want to talk about your product or service.

Be friendly and build rapport; talk emotionally; don’t pressure them; take your time; allow them to include others in decisions; give them one positive choice; help them justify their decision.

SEEKER:
They get excited about new things and adventures. They will not focus on details but more so the bigger picture.  Recognize them as being important; once you have built excitement and visualization than put details in writing and explain carefully.

Personalities have a major impact on your leadership style and success.  For those of you that find your interaction with others getting difficult or strained, it will be useful to Understand personalities and dealing with the differences.  This will prove to be one of the most critical tools to help you become a successful leader and connect at a deeper level with your relationships within your professional and personal lives.

We were sitting on our surfboards waiting for the next magical wave as the sun was blaring on our sore muscles.  Just as I thought to myself of jumping into the water to cool my body off, we started to experience sun showers.  And than there it was the most amazing double rainbow I have ever seen.  They were so bright that I felt like swimming over and surfing the rainbow themselves.

I wished to myself I had a camera to capture this moment.  Now hours later it occurred to me that this was one of those moments that was carved into my memory – an image that was more vibrant than any picture.

What was it about this moment that it was photographed with fine details into my memory?  Than it occurred to me that it made me feel.  It was an experience that elicited emotions within me.

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Experience linked to emotions will stay with us for all time.

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What a powerful lesson to take with me.  When we communicate with people, do we connect to their emotions in order to leave behind a lasting experience.

Always ask yourself after every interaction, what emotions did I leave behind?

I feel so blessed on this trip.  Beautiful weather, warm ocean, great people, great fun and some great sessions with courageous people that are so open to looking within themselves.

Look around you as there is beauty in every moment.

Fred Sarkari