Mentalsidewalk

This weekend a homeless person and a child asked me the same critical question about Thanksgiving.

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I sat there on the street and shared a meal with the homeless man.  This man was more cheerful and happy than most people I know with an abundance in their lives.  I was amazed to hear of all the things he was grateful for in his life.

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The question I was asked by this man and a 10 year old child:

“What is the point of Thanksgiving?”

Thanksgiving has different meaning to different people, but in the end the message is consistent to all.  Be thankful and grateful for what we have, not just for the obvious like food, but also for all the little things in our lives.  No matter what our situation or circumstance in life, there is always something / someone to be grateful for.

Thats not always as easy as it sounds as we are not only surrounded by negativity, we have also created a culture focusing on what we don’t have, should have, why others have more…and in turn, we loose sight of all the precious moments we have in our lives.

First and foremost, I am so grateful to the friends that I had the pleasure to celebrate Thanksgiving with.  I just got back from over eating some great food with some great friends.  I was asked what I was grateful for?

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Three things came to mind:

1. Niece and Nephew:  Natasha and Zal have been the greatest gift I have ever received.  They have taught me more about myself, people, love, compassion and even pain than any other person or event in my life.

2. Old And New Friends: I have the greatest lifetime friends and so fortunate to meet some new friends this year.  No matter where my journey leads me I hope that they also one day will become my old lifetime friends.

3. World Is Full Of Compassion: I truly believe that this world is full of compassion.  When you truly believe it, you will also see the unlimited amount of small compassionate acts everywhere we turn.  I am so grateful to have the awareness for it.

WHAT ARE YOU GRATEFUL FOR?

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Having a conversation with Mike Hassard, a few days ago, he approached me with a suggestion to collect canned food for the food bank at the Nov. 5th event in Kelowna. Now there is an example of a person taking the time to see how we can give back during our busy schedules.  Please bring food for the food bank if you are coming to the event.

Some fun trivia:

Do you know the answers to the following questions about Thanksgiving:

1. When was the first celebration of Thanksgiving?
2. What are the only 2 items known for sure that were on the menu?
3. In 2007 how many turkeys were eaten in the U.S.? (hint: in millions)

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Please, take the time to be grateful for what you have in your life.  Take the time to tell your family how much you appreciate them and love them.  Appreciate others in your life, be thankful for your health, feel fortunate for the food on your table.  Most importantly take the time to give back the little moments that we have grown to take for granted.

We would love to hear the things you are grateful for and the moments you are giving back.

Fred sarkari

I received this email from a dear friend this morning.  She could not have picked a more perfect time.

I was having one of those mornings where you lose sight of the moment and your focus expands to the finish line of your tasks at hand.

Thank you for shaking my state of mind and bringing it back to enjoying and cherishing the present moment of the journey.

Enjoy your day, find the love and joy in what you are doing at the moment, take time to breathe for a moment, smile and laugh.

Below is the powerful email that was just sent to me.

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Hi Fred,

Came across this today…it was thought provoking and reminding me of your way of living…

hope you have a GREAT weekend =).

“You can’t do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth.”   Shira Tehrani

Life is a funny thing. It’s an ever-going marathon, yet no one knows where his or her finish line is. We just keep running and running, hoping we still have a long way to go. We do whatever we can to prolong the run, but sometimes despite our best efforts, the marathon is cut short. So many of us are only concerned about the distance we are traveling, we lose focus of what’s going on during the run. And this is the important part, so take advantage. Stretch some personal boundaries, work outside of your comfort zone, try something new. There will be bumps along the road, shortcuts, and paths that lead into dead ends. These are all parts of the journey; how you deal with them will determine where you go in life. Remember, we don’t always determine the distance, but we can determine the path.

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I can now see why they say the Apple Triathlon is the most respected Olympic Distance triathlon in all of Canada, where even our  world class OLYMPIC Athletes come to race at this event. Simon Whitfield, kyle Jones, Paul Tichelarr, Lauren Groves, Kathy Tremblay.

Karina Clark, 3 time world champion triathlete, said it best “Of the 30+ races I have done, including 3 World Championships, Kelowna remains my absolute favorite.  The volunteers are second to none. They are all helpful, friendly, and just super!”

I have spent the last decade going from one kind of event to another.  This by far was one of the most impressive events I have experienced.

I had the pleasure of experiencing this event from all points of view, as a volunteer, exposure to the amazing organizers and as a competitor.  From the beginning to the end, the joyful experience will stay with me for all time.

From the first time I met Mike Hassard, one of the main volunteers, he was a true example of what it mean to be of service to all those that crosses his path.

Through Mike I had the pleasure of meeting Richard Montgomery, the president of the Apple Triathlon.  With over 846 volunteers, 20+ races, sight of 5000 spectators, 1600 racers, Richard at no point, through the organization of the event or at the event it self, lost his well mannered and relaxed demeanor.  With a million things to keep organized that weekend, he still took the time to give me some guidance on my race at the event.  (Don’t let this grey haired man fool you, he is a true triathlete competitor at heart.)

All that being said, if anyone has raced in the Okanagan then they have heard the name Randy Sparrow.  Randy is the living legend known as the Race Director.  Randy has the ability to keep all the above organized and making the event run like a well oiled machine.

Even Greg Peters from Tri-Canada mentiond a note about Randy: “You continue to do a fantastic job, and I have no idea how you can keep so much information about the event in your head and recall it so quickly.”

Triathletes are a unique group of people, they have tapped into their internal drive to push their limits, to study their bodies peak performance, to commit when others only talk, but what truly makes them special is their desire to help others succeed.

In my last half of the run, I was cramped and had lost too much salt leading to spasms in my legs.  A competitor running beside me not only took the time to guide me from his years of experience but also helped me dig deep within myself and pacing me to the finish line.

The amazing staff from Kelowna Cycle who always take the time to guide me and share little secrets with me for race day preparation, thanks Tannille, and their encouraging words “just go do it and have fun”, thanks Mike.

One of my favorite moments was my first race ever.  I had never set up a transition area before.  As I was obviously fumbling my way through it an amazing girl came over and said “I can help you with this, both my parents are triathletes.”  Yes, she was 11 years old and shared the secrets she had learned from her parents.  I think she even passed me that day at the races.

I would like to take the time to thank all the volunteers, organizers, directors, sponsors and racers for showing me not only the love for this sport but also why the Apple Triathlon is the most respected in all of Canada.

Looking forward to experiencing the Penticton Ironman Canada this weekend.  Good luck to all the racers.

Fred Sarkari

I was taking a break having a coffee and reading a book at Good Earth in beautiful Kelowna.

That is where I saw a sight that put a tear in my eye.

A mother telling her child about the importance of always taking the time to look pretty before you walk out of the house.

Imagine the difference in the child

if she was taught the importance of always

trusting and believing in herself

before leaving the house.

We all face those times where we doubt ourselves, our image onto others or just who we are trying to be and grow into.

Everywhere you turn you see images and opinions of what society concludes as beautiful and worthy.

Have you ever really looked at yourself in the mirror?

Looked at who you really are as a person and an individual?  Do not just take a glance, what you are wearing, your hair style, the color of your skin or your fake tan.  Truly look at YOU.  Look at the reflection in the mirror long enough till you see within yourself and than ask yourself who you see.

I know most will role their eyes at this task, but I tell you this.  The ones that come up with any reason why they are not going to do it all comes down to the one main and real reason why not?

We are scared to know who we truly are

There is no hype clothing, hair style, look, color, what you drive, where you live or your chosen profession that can put value to your soul.

Stare at yourself in the mirror and just know that you are beautiful just the way you were created.  There is no end to your beauty in your eyes and those that cross your path when you start believing in yourself.

Live YOUR life to the fullest.

Live YOUR life for YOU and not others.

Fred sarkari

I had the opportunity to travel around the world in 3 days, living and feeling the  7 Wonders of The World.

What did YOU do this weekend? he he

An hour ago I just finished having a conversation with a friend of mine about the 7 Wonders of the World.  She was trying to remember what they were as one of her dreams is to visit them all in her life time.

How did I manage to see the 7 Wonders in just 3 days?

When she was going through the list I could not help but to notice that my mind kept journeying to a different list.

We have these great dreams of seeing parts of the world, experiencing events, achieving goals, creating financial success…

In doing so, how easily we lose sight of the true 7 Wonders of the World.

I remember a child, when asked the same question answered by stating that the 7 Wonders of the world are:

1. To See

Do we take the time to see the beauty around us?  Or are we so focused on reaching the next moment in life?  This Long-Weekend I took in the beauty of the lake and the mountains while relaxing on the boat.   When you stare at the lake long enough  you can see every drop of water.

2. To Hear

Going for a run, I remember just opening my mind to what ever wanted to come in.  In time all the noise of the world had deafened and all I could hear are the beautiful sounds of the birds.

3. To Touch

Our skin is the largest organ in the body.  I was fortunate enough to spend time with close friends.  A genuine hug from your friends can last a life time within you.

4. To Taste

Well those that know me, know I saver every bite of food, dance during every chew.  I do not eat for the sake to eating I eat cause I love to taste and experience the food.  Nothing better than a barbeque with close friends.

5. To Feel

We feel something every second of the day.  Unfortunately most people are not aware of those moments.  They only stop to feel when it is an intense emotion.  Being aware of all the moments during the weekend reminded me of all the great emotions that we go through on a daily basis.

6. To Laugh

The best way to stay young is to laugh, laugh more and than laugh even more.

7. To Love

If more people had the courage to love and be loved this world would be a different place.

I want to thank all those that helped me experience the 7 Wonders of The World this long-weekend.  Most people spend a life time traveling the world in order to experience them, meanwhile they are right in our own backyards.

Cherish the moments

Fred Sarkari

We are all in the state of struggle.  Struggle to learn, to become aware, revolt, find who we are, what is our purpose?

We are at times intelligent with our words that we not only give the perception that we have all the answers but more so we start believing the lie that we do.

As soon as our state of mind comes to believe such a lie, we have at that critical moment, stopped learning and growing as a person.

Do you know what it means to be aware? To learn?

The only time we are learning is when our minds are innocently open, aware, to the moments in life that face us at that point in time.

I have been asked many times, “who is your mentor your guru in life?”

There is no one teacher or guru that we learn from.  Once we put another person in that category, we have shut our minds to the greatest teacher in life; life moments them selves.

The greatest teachers in life are the birds, plants, the smile of a persons face, the laughter of a child, the pain of a loved one, the sadness of a stranger.

If you make life your teacher than you will always be in a state of constant learning.

I ask you this, what experiences in life has given you the greatest awareness and learning?

Fred sarkari

A day does not go by where we are not in conflict with two of the most powerful influencers in our life.  Every decision we make is influenced at some level by these two living “Organs”.

I was recently asked a very critical question:

“So which is more important to pay attention too your heart or head?”

We make decisions in life based on our ‘heads’ we make choices in life based on our hearts.

Decisions can be logically explained by anyone whether they are in that situation or not.

Choices made from the heart cannot always be logically explained nor make sense in most cases – they are just there to embrace.

As much as I believe great things come to those who wait. The other side, which I believe in more important but not necessarily lived by as much by most:

Great things are lost for those who do not embrace what is in their hearts at that moment in time – those are choices made from the heart.

Those are choices that have a high element of fear and a high price to pay.  In most cases that high price is not monetary but more so a way of life.  A person willing to swim against the current of normality and willing to let go the security in order to chase a dream.

You hear a lot of people say, I know deep inside I am meant for more.  I am different, there is a deep rooted purpose in my life that I can feel inside of me.

Let me clarify the obvious.  Every single person on this earth belongs within the above sentence.  The choices that we make at that point in time will determine what we will be saying and living years down the road.

These choices are not easy to make, if they were than everyone would be living their dreams instead of living vicariously through others.

That is why we as humans rely on decisions instead of living our life through heart felt choices.

There will always be a reason why we cannot, always.  You only need one reason to grasp on to that dream and never let go.

Start chasing your dreams, your passions in life.  Be willing to put it all on stake, be willing to lose it all in life for that one chance of living your legacy.

I would love to hear from people that have payed a price towards their dream.   Also ones that are paying a price as we speak.

Remember when you started chasing your dream, you were looking for anything or anyone to encourage you.  Your story, even if its one line, will touch the hearts of many reading this post.

Fred Sarkari

Mr. T’s Turtle Head Triathlon.  This was one of the most humbling experiences for me in a very long time.  It was  a great adventure from drinking margaritas the day before to getting 3 hours of sleep the night prior.  Thinking I was going to drown at one point, heavy rain fall prior to the race, losing my swimming goggles 30 min. prior to start time, cramp from eating too big of a breakfast… well you get the point.

The most inspiring part of it all was to see people of all ages and athletic abilities.  People did what they had to to start and finish the race.  They showed up, which is more than what most people can ever say and the gravy was that they finished no matter how deep they had to dig within.

When was the last time you dug deep within yourself to finish something you started?

It was great to see entire family participating together.  Husband, wife and children. These little 10 year olds were so adorable.  I was telling my niece and she is all excited to do one together one day.  You cannot imagine the joy within to hear that.

There was a lady that got a flat in the beginning of the bike route and was not equipped to fix her flat, so another individual gave her his rim from his spare bike so she can continue the race.

How often do we go out of our way to help complete strangers reach their goals?  truly wanting to help others with nothing expected in return.

Leading up to the event it seemed like I did everything to sabotage my success.  From drinking the day before to eating bad and lack of sleep night prior to the race.  Oh yes, forgot the most critical part – finding every excuse not to train. Doubt will always be a variable in the path to our success.  That cannot be avoided, what you do from that point on will determine your outcome.  I let that doubt creep in and in turn did everything possible to be able to have my excuse ready just incase I did not finish the race or had a bad standing.

In the end, as long as you are never willing to give up you can accomplish anything you desire.  Of course there is always a more effective way of doing it. p.s. avoid margaritas the day before.

I ask you this, what was the last vision, hope, dream that you walked away from or keep putting off due to doubt?

This was  a lot more difficult than I expected it to be.  When times get though along the way look for inspiration in the right places and just keep moving forward.  I saw so many people that had less athletic ability than I did yet they just kept moving forward.

Everyday, do something to inspire yourself and just keep moving forward.

How often in life do we quit on our dreams, big or small, at the last minute. That critical time of decision and we find a reason to walk away.  Let me tell you, I was ready to go home when I was standing there at the start line in front of the lake for the beginning of the swim.

When you feel like quitting, just do it anyways.  That is how simple it really is, just do it anyways.  keep moving forward, one inch at a time.

There was a point in the swim that I was thinking, “what the heck am I doing here?”  Not even half way through the swim, I feared, “will I be able to finish this?”  The answer is always yes.

It is amazing how much we have within ourselves.  Never lose sight of that belief.

Be prepared to let all strategy and tactic go out the door.  A month prior to this I cut my foot open and ever since I made every excuse not to do any training.  Prior to the last month, I had gone to the pool to work on my technique and I must say, I was very impressed with my new swimming technique.  I truly believed I would glide through that water during the race.

What we have to realize is that in the real world our strategy, tactics, techniques all can go down the drain.  As soon as I hit the lake all technique vanished, it was swim to survive mode.

In the end, you do what you need to do in order to finish what you started, even if it does not unfold the way you expected it to.

Running through the finish line was all worth it.  The sense of accomplishment will always over power the price we have to pay to get there.

To everyone that stood by me, thank you so very much.  Sarah D., thank you for your weekly calls to check in on me and your enthusiasm and belief even though I was not training.  Derrick Shirley, a man you did his first triathlon at 350 pounds, you are an inspiration.  Sarah Hart, thank you so much for waking up at 4 am to come to the race as my support.

The list goes on and on and that my friends is the beauty of this sport.

Fred sarkari

“Should I do the right thing? No one will ever know if I didn’t.  Is it really worth it? Does anyone really care?”

These are the questions we ask ourselves everyday for the little moments that cross our path.  Unfortunately there comes a time in most peoples lives that they even stop asking them selves these questions and in turn take the path of least resistance.

Life is not about doing the easy things, it is about standing up and doing the right things.  No matter how big or small, no matter if no one will ever know.

If you have ever seen the movie Radio with Cuba Gooding Jr and Ed Harris, it teaches us the lesson of standing up to what is right even when others will resist.  In fact it is more critical to do so when others resist.  

In the movie the Coach, Ed Harris,  goes out of his way to help a student that is mentally challenged.

The coach stood up for what was right, not what was easy to do.  One part of the movie, the Principle ask him, “why do you do it?” The coach answered, “It just seems like the right thing to do.”

There are a lot of right things to do does not mean people always do it.

More reason for us to do what we know is the right thing to do.  Right thing is hardly ever the easy thing.  Unfortunately at times it feels like not many are doing the right thing when it is not easy to do so. 

Have the courage to swim against the current.  Stand up for the right things in life.  No matter how small or insignificant they seem.  

Fred Sarkari

Why do women put on make up everyday even though they do not like the process?

I had some friends over from out of town last weekend.  One evening prior to going out one of the ladies was putting on make up, but during the entire time she was complaining about how she did not like the process of putting on make up everyday.

Why do we take the time to do the things we so clearly do not enjoying doing?

The answer is very simple, be it in our personal lives, our relationships, business, clients, the decisions we make on a daily basis.  Everything that we do is driven by two variables:

Pleasure and Pain 

Even though most women dislike the process of putting on make up (pain), feeling good (pleasure) after the fact over rides the frustration and pain of doing so.

People do not buy the best product, they buy the ones that is associated with the most pleasure and reduce pain.

The most impactful marketing is always linked to pleasure and pain. 

AT&T commercial:

Poor lady: “my son has not called me.” (pain) 

Than they show the son calling.  (pleasure)

Credit card commercial:

Father gets a heart attach. (pain)

Credit card pays for flight. (pleasure)

Always keep in mind when interacting with others, are you instilling pleasure or pain within your communication?

Fred Sarkari

I am so mentally and physically exhausted.  How in the world do they do it?  I have just been humbled by all ages, genders and sizes as they passed right by me.

I did my very first duathlon, run – bike – run, and what a whirlwind of emotions from the night before to hours after the race.

Two days prior I started feeling a little under the weather.  It almost got the better of me until I got control of my mindset.  I do not mean it got the better of me as I got too sick.  In fact it was just lingering within me.  It almost got the better of my state of mind, an easy way out of not following through.

How often do we come so close to starting what we desire

and at the last minute we find a small insignificant reason to quit on ourselves.

When I arrived at the race location, I felt like I was walking into a speech to thousands of people with a topic I knew nothing about.   All the racers were showing up with their professional triathlon bikes and gear.  They looked so focused and determined with their pre-race rituals and stretches.  I was once again ready to quit.  Nothing a bit of self-affirmation talk couldn’t fix.

Turned out that the people were very friendly and helpful in guiding me on my first event.  I remember one woman taking the time to give me some guidance and in the end of the race I see her announced as having the best time in the women category. 

How often in our business and lives do we fear and have a mis perception of the successful? 

Change the way we think about people and the people we think about will change. 

What a great feeling when the bell goes off to start the race.  The first leg of the race, the run, I took it a little easy to conserve energy.  I did feel a little nauseous as my body was still recuperating.  Luckily it balanced it self and did not get any worse.

Now the fun begins, my very first transition from the run to the bike.  It went pretty well except of the fact that I got disqualified.

I got overwhelmed and forgot a very critical safety rule that was made very clear to us.  You are not allowed to touch your bike until you clip your helmet on.  Not only did not not clip it on, I completely forgot to wear it.

The biking it self, Wow! Not only was I exhausted from the unexpected wind, (not being in shape might have something to do with it)  but more so the re-visit of some of my old injuries screaming for help.  

Honestly I could not wait to get off the bike.  Here is where the true adventure started, the major dehydration cramp in my leg reminded me that I forgot to rehydrate after my steam room the night before.

Now for the last transition, bike to the run again.  One eight of the way into the run the dehydration in my leg kicked in full force, pulsating and cramping my leg to a hobble.

Half way through the run my knee on the other leg went on strike, forcing me to somehow hobble on both legs.

What a humbling experience, one runner after another passing me by as I hobbled and walked the rest of the way.  The amazing part was the support from every runner that passed me, cheering me on not to give up.  

Be it a duathlon, an Ironman or a business venture, the following are a few lessons to keep in the forefront of your mind.

Dig Deep: As a lot of the runners said as they ran by me, “dig deep – you are just around the corner”.  There will always be a million reasons to give up.  Focus on the one that gives you a reason to keep moving forward.

One Inch at a Time: I wish I could go from the couch to an Ironman in a month.  Success takes time to build one inch at a time.  

Surround Yourself with Success:   Find the successful in what you want to achieve and gravitate towards them.  They not only have the knowledge and experience to guide you but they are also very willing to help.  And if you come across the few that want to hold on to their time and experience, smile and move on to the next.

Focus on Your Purpose: My purpose for doing this race kept me going through any circumstance it threw at me.

Take accountability: In the end of the race, people came up to me and said I should not have been disqualified.  My response was “yes I should have been.”  Not only was it a critical safety rule, but it was also made very clear numerous times.  Anyone can push blame, take accountability for your actions.  

The most important thing I learned.   I am not 20 anymore, I cannot just decide to do stuff like this anymore.  I actually have to put the time in to train.  AH!

Fred Sarkari

Reactive people work at 25% of their efficiency but work hard.  Most people are not effective at implementing because most people are unaware of what to implement.  Show me what to do and I will do it…

Zubin from Athena Hair and Laser asked a very critical question on one of the post.  It would be valuable to create a post for all the other readers.

ZUBINS QUESTION:

Fred:
Your last blog makes a lot of sense but what are the 1st steps I need to take after I have decided what to do. Do you recommend a process of how to implement my plan?

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Zubin, if you are asking about the actual steps of implementing, than you have hit on a very critical point.

Obviously that would be different for everyone based on their personality, strengths and the project itself.

Few principles to keep in mind:

1. Most people  can not implement effectively as they are unsure what and how to implement.

2. In order to have clarity on what needs to be implemented, one needs to have a clear awareness on what is it that they are trying to accomplish?

3. When we do not have this clarity, we end up scattering and just being overly busy in our daily activities.

4. Once you know what you are trying to accomplish.  Create a very basic priority list.
This consists of 6-8 most valuable and profitable activities in your business.

5. Now go and spend 80% of your daily time implementing the 6-8 activities.

6. Delegate the rest.

Just like this post, keep it simple.

Fred Sarkari

There was only one thing I was disappointed with when attending the Mortgage Brokers Association of British Columbia, MBABC, 2009 Conference.  The fact that it had to come to an end.

I have made some great friendships and relationships speaking in this industry in the past few years.  That can only happen if all parties are genuine about what they do and why they do it, passionate and truly care for all those in the industry.

Brian Peterson as the past president has done a great job.  He has created a stage that only the existing president can walk on and build, Joe Santos. Joe Santos is one of the most respected individuals in the industry and only those that have the pleasure of meeting him will know the true extent of what it takes to be a president of such an association.

MBABC 2009, was a very special conference to me for 3 reasons:

1. The opportunity to speak from the heart to such amazing people. I wish I could find the words of thanks for the respect and genuine connection MBABC and their members have always forwarded to me.  All I can say is I am very thankful.

2. We are all tested during times of difficulty for who we are.  During this market, MBABC, has truly proven their high level of integrity as an association.

3. The deep conversations and real people I had the opportunity to experience.

What MBABC stands for in my eyes?

5 Lessons we should all be aware of.

Authenticity: MBABC directors, staff and members have proven through steady action that they are individuals that live a life of integrity.  Not willing to sell their spirit when life, tough markets, comes knocking on their door.

Love For Each Other: Success is never achieved alone.  It was amazing to see how everyone genuinely wanted to help each other in anyway they can.  Collectively with like minded people anything is possible.

Desire For Personal Growth: MBABC has the highest standards of professionalism.  They not only understand the value of personal growth, they make it a priority to help their members become better people in their professional and personal lives.  With their on going professional days and their respected designation, AMP, supports their strict qualifications of professionalism.

Code Of Ethics: Everyone has a strict code of ethics.  It has the same value as downloading a PHD degree online.  What makes MBABC different is their members protect their code of ethics.  They keep each other accountable as their number one priority is the safety of their members and clients.

Mind Set: Change how you look at the market and the market that you look at will change.  The ones that were at the conference understood the mindset required to not only survive but to thrive in this industry.

Some of my personal highlights:

I had such a phenomenal time presenting to this group.  It was an absolute honor and privilege.

Many of the great conversations like the one with Gary Mauris from Dominion Lending Centres. His message in our conversation together was consistent to the one he gave on stage during the Gala Dinner.  He truly believes that anything is possible and has an intense passion and respect for the industry.

Rob Regan-Pollock – I do not think I have met anyone that so genuinely loves and believes in what he does. It is obvious that Rob’s business is build on his character, truly caring for all those around him.  Very inspiring for me every time we meet.  But the most precious thing about Rob is that he always laughs at my jokes during my presentation.

It was a pleasure to get to know Loren Hawkins through our conversations.  An individual that has the excitement and drive to protect the industry like his own.  It was important for me to see that as it reminded me of how important it is to invest and give back to protect my industry in order to protect what I love to do.

I could go on with an endless list of all the directors and staff. I would like to say thank you for a great conference and all the effort all the directors, staff, sponsors and members invested into making MBABC 2009 another phenomenal trade show.

Fred Sarkari

We all go through times where we question all spectrums of our life, from why we do what we do, our relationships or lack of, the way we think, our emotions and behavior, all the way to the reason of our existence.

My good friend and counsellor, Derrick Shirley, sent me one of the most enlightening passages I have read in the longest time.  

For all those people looking for answers, take the time to read the passage below:

I beg you… to have patience with everything unresolved

in your heart

And try to love the questions themselves

As if they were locked rooms or books written

in a very foreign language.

Don’t search for the answers,

which could not be given to you now,

Because you would not be able to live them.

And the point is, to live everything.

Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future,

You will gradually, without even noticing it,

Live your way into the answer…
(rainer maria rilke) 

I lost count how many times I have read this.  I find that every time I read it, it gives me a deeper awareness into myself, my actions, my emotions and my behavior.

I love it, thanks Derrick.

Would love to know how it makes you feel after you read this.

Fred Sarkari 

All I remember is the world disappearing right in front of me and the past became the present.

I was driving yesterday afternoon and out of no where my mind shifted from where I was at that moment in time to snapshots of my life in the last month.

I pulled over, for some odd reason did not have  a paper and pen so I opened up my computer and started typing.  

I also realized that it was a while since I had written in my journal.  The more I wrote the more came out.  The snapshots of my past month become even more vivid and clearer.  I could not only re-live all my emotions and behaviors but I could see them from the outside, as a third party.  

In that process I learned so much about myself, a sense of awareness and clarity of what makes Fred click.

I am not too sure how many people still journal their thoughts these days.  I do know of some and those that do are always more aware of themselves.  If we are not aware of our emotions, pains, joys and reasons behind our actions than how effective can we be in any relationship in our lives?  Be it with our spouse, partners, professional lives and most importantly our children.  

After typing out 7 pages from yesterday to today I put the following status on my facebook and was asked a very critical question in my email:

“Everybody should journal. learned more about myself in the last 2 days from writing than any course can teach me. writing creates clarity.”

“Fred can you explain to me what you meant by writing things down, what sort of things should you journal daily?  Events, thoughts, feelings???”

What is journaling?     Why should we Journal?

What is Journaling?

Journaling is nothing more than writing your thoughts and emotions down.  Anytime we feel something, any emotion, about a circumstance in our life – we should journal our thoughts and feelings. 

Some people journal events in order to look back one day and have a record of their life.  That is amazing in itself.  But that is not what I am talking about here.  I am talking about journaling your thoughts, emotions, feelings and your behaviors in a particular situation.  This will one day allow you to look back and see who you really are as a person, what makes you click, how you consistently think, where you need to improve and grow.

For example: Someone did something to hurt your feelings.  

• Starting writing about what you are feeling?
• Why do you think you are feeling it?
• Where do you think those feelings are truly coming from?  
• One of the most critical questions, is this more about you or the person that supposedly made you feel this way?

What you will find is that your behaviors are not a direct reflection of your true feelings.

 As most of us are not aware enough to even know what our true feeling are.  

Why should we journal?

We are not directly trying to answer questions to a situation, but by writing down the above questions we start creating what we call Aha! moments.  Which in turn creates clarity behind our emotions and behaviors.  

Unless we become aware of our state of mind, we have no control in our lives, in our relationships, all we can do is react to situations.  And we all know the outcome when we react under high emotional state.

Journaling helps us put ourself outside of the situation we were in.  Its like watching two people argue and as an outside person you can see the situation clearer than they ever can.  That is what journaling does for us in our own situations we face.

Writing things down creates clarity in our thoughts and behaviors.  

We try so hard to understand others and their behaviors.  One can never understand another person beyond their own comprehension.  

Happy Journaling, 

Fred sarkari

Ever wonder why some businesses are successful and some are not?  More so, why are some business thriving in this market while others are barely surviving?

There are 3 critical elements that every successful and sustainable business have in common.

We have heard it many times, that attitude is everything.  You cannot succeed without the right attitude.  What we have to understand is that attitude is only one variable of success and has a very specific job.

Attitude keeps you alive, it sustains you when no one else believes in you.  The right attitude keeps you going even when you lose belief in yourself at times.

The right attitude will sustain you

but attitude on its own is nothing more than living a life of fantasy

as it will never give you results.

Systems on the other hand, lead to results.  What we have to understand is that every success and failure is a direct reflection of the systems that created them.

That being said, the right system only means possible results.

The 3rd and critical element is the actual implementation.  In any market or economy you can have the right attitude and an effective system but if you do not have the courage to implement than you will have nothing more than a fantasy of possible results.

In conclusion, every successful and sustainable business has the following 3 elements:

1. The right attitude.

2. An effective system of success.

3. The courage to implement.

Fred Sarkari

What should I write about during Easter weekend?  As always, I will just write on what flows through my mind at that moment in time.

Two thoughts just came to my mind.  (this flow stuff actually works)

1. The beauty around us.

2. To Love somebody.

This weekend means different things for different people, in the end it is a weekend of celebration, a weekend of thanks and giving.

I wounder if people are so busy with their lives theses days, always chasing something for tomorrow that will we slow down enough to truly enjoy a gifted weekend?

I took a walk by the lake today and what a beautiful sight it was.  How often do we take the time to notice the beauty around us.  Too often we get numbed to our environment.

Do you still notice the sent of Spring in the air or do we just breath to survive for the next moment?   Truly visualize the calmness of the still lake or do we drive right by it as we know it will be there tomorrow?  Are we running so fast in life that we do not look up to embrace the clear blue sky in fear of running into something?

Are we so busy, so occupied with our daily activities, that we do not even notice the beauty all around us.  The outdoors, our spouses, our children or the stranger that crosses our path.

To Love Somebody.  Easter, the weekend of giving and being thankful is in essence to love somebody else than our selfish self-centered egos. (wow! that sounds a little harsh).

What does it mean to love, to love a tree, to love a person, to love a bird, to love and not expect anything in return?  Most of us are not courageous enough to love that way.

We truly do not know what love is when we put our love against an expectation of any sort of return.

What a beautiful thing to love and not expect anything in return.  To love someone as long as they love you is a business of trade.  Love cannot be bought or sold it is a precious gift to be given and received all on its own.

This Easter weekend I challenge you to:

1. Slow down your mind enough to enjoy and cherish the moments around you.  Feel every breath of yours and those of your loved ones.

2. Have the courage to love, just simply love for the sake of loving.

Have Easter to everyone.

Fred Sarkari

Nick, you are amazing. Do you have a case of Corona prior to your board meetings to ignite creativity?  

Nick Kossovan is a creative writer. Always shares the greatest comments. This one on branding had to be turned into its own mini post.

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NICK:

Late Saturday night I was on my 7th or 8th Corona when then purpose of brand hit me.

Out of the multitude of beers on the market why do I keep only ordering Corona?

Why does my drinking buddy only order Moosehead? Why do we become loyal to one particular brand, other than to be part of a tribe?

Brands thrive because they are decision making short cuts for time starved consumers.

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“Brands thrive because they are decision making short cuts

for time starved consumers.”

That is great insight on brands. We have created such a fast paced technological environment in our lives that everything we do revolves around saving time and creating short cuts.

We live in a convenience world. We went from PHONE CALLS to EMAILS to SHORT BLACK BERRY EMAILS to.. Now I will even get a text message from an executive client.

It is great that we have all the resources possible in order for us to buy our time back for more important things in our lives.

Unfortunately all we do with this extra time is fill it with more urgent reactions to our environment.

I am all about being effective and efficient in my life – That being said there is a specific reason for doing so. It is not to fill my time with more crap that I do not care for, but more so to make time for the things I enjoy and the ones I love to spend time with.

Ask yourself, 2 few critical questions:

1. What do I find my self reacting to everyday?

2. What priorities do I find myself not making time for?

We have become so busy in our technological – short cut lives, always chasing the next deal, chasing the next account, chasing the urgency – thinking it will help us get further in life.

In doing so, we have lost sight of the most valuable gifts in our life.

The ones we love, our relationships, our parents, our spouse and our children.

When was the last time we shut the world out in order to truly love the time with our loved ones?

Fred Sarkari

I was asked by a friend of mine the following question: 

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I am just in the process of opening my new small business up and bouncing a few names off of you for feedback.  Any feedback is greatly appreciated.

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Since this is a very critical stage of building your foundation in your new business, I wanted to share some ideas with all readers and would love to hear theirs.  

Few things to keep in mind when you are naming a business:

1. You Better Like It: Make sure you like the name. If not, it is like a bad tattoo, you will avoid sharing and promoting it.

2. Easy to Remember: A business needs to be promoted – so if the name is hard to remember you will lose out on a lot of business, through your own marketing efforts and word of mouth.  (I remember seeing a sign for that, but can’t remember the name.  It was a fancy name, but its not coming to me…)

3. Domain Website: Make sure the domain name for your new business is available. In my opinion .com is the only option.   Even if it is a regional business, people will always remember .com but they will forget the rest of the ‘dots’.

4. Avoid Trends:  Remember, whats popular these days might not be tomorrow. So do not go with a trend unless your intention is to ride a trend and get off the wave when a new trend arrives.  Think sustainability.

5. Thousands of Followers: When choosing the name think of it from the end.  Meaning, when the time comes where you have 10′s of thousands of followers – what name do you want to build a brand (built trust) around?

Readers, please do post some other suggestions as they would be helpful for all.

Fred Sarkari

Would really appreciate if you would take the time to help.

I am looking for a catchy name for a presentation course.

The main Modules in the course are:

1.  Building your presentation

2. Preparation

3. Presenting

4. Post Presentation

Consisting of 25 chapters.

Therefore, it will cover all spectrums from working with the organizer of the sessions to the psychology of presenting right down to what needs to be done after the presentation is over.  

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Main element of the workshop is to help build and refine peoples speaking skills.

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The course will be split into 2 segments:

1. Small part theory.
2. Main part, hands on practice. 

I am looking for brain storming ideas.  So anything that comes to mind I would appreciate  it if you posted.  This way it could ignite others ideas.

Thank you for taking the time to give your opinion.

Fred Sarkari